A young mother is sitting in a crowded café. Her baby is sleeping in a baby carrier, surrounded by piles of coats and bags.

An older couple is trying to get past her chair with a walker.
The mother looks up, smiles, and says, “Would you like me to move over?” It sounds helpful, but beneath that politeness lies something else: the discomfort of making a decision herself. She subtly shifts the choice to the couple, who already have their hands full. That one small dilemma makes it harder for them than it needs to be.

The exact same thing happens in the workplace. We ask questions that seem like collaboration, but in reality, we’re passing the buck. “What do you think I should do?” sounds engaged, but shifts the discomfort onto someone else. We often pass this on to the manager—out of convenience, out of the belief that a leader must know everything, or in the hope of making a good impression. It seems logical, but in practice it means someone else has to shoulder an unnecessary number of small decisions, when many of them could just as easily have stayed with us.

Collaboration works differently. Whatever you can handle on your own, you keep to yourself. This creates space for colleagues and for leaders to lead. Small choices you make don’t have to burden anyone else. In the cafeteria, the young mother simply moved over a little. Not complicated. Just enough. That is the essence of collaboration: take on the part that is yours, so that what belongs to someone else doesn’t have to become bigger than necessary.

In organizations, this works exactly the same way. Those who dare to take on the responsibility that belongs to them and consciously make their own choices create a flow in which work flows and obstacles disappear. This allows leaders to do what they were appointed to do. It may take some practice, but this principle applies to every decision you can handle yourself.

And you? What small choices do you unconsciously pass on, and what would happen if you just took them on?